The paradox of a peaceful, harmonious life

How do you define Harmony? How do you define Peace-of-mind?

Harmony is defined as forming a pleasing or consistent whole. To be free from disagreement or dissent. Which in its essence requires us to consciously reduce the chaos and messes in our lives.

Peace of mind is the feeling of being safe or protected. It can be physical safety, or it can be emotional safety.

Physical safety, we all understand. We have been taught to run when chased, to duck when someone tries to punch our face, to scream when we are threatened. To fight back if we cannot run and hide. To be extra careful when we use sharp tools, when we walk/drive on slippery roads, even more more careful when we climb trees or buildings.

Has anyone taught you about emotional safely? Emotional safety is about feeling safe to be vulnerable – to expose and share your deepest feelings, fears and thoughts with someone. Someone who does not use your thoughts and vulnerabilities against you. Someone who does not judge you. Someone who does not share your secrets with others. Someone who does not mock your fears.

So harmony and peace of mind are achieved by those who are at peace with the world around them – those who feel physically and emotionally safe in their daily lives.

The reason we all long for harmony and peace-of-mind is because we instictively know that it is hard to build stable, rich lives if we are not in harmony with ourselves and with the world around us. It’s like building a city while a war is ongoing. Impossible.

The paradox is, our need for harmony and peace of mind does not seem to translate into habits or choices that maintain harmony and peace of mind.

Have you noticed how we say “I need peace of mind” or something similar and then go right ahead to create chaos? How we succeed, by the grace or by effort, to create quiet, harmonious lives and then get bored with the harmony? Leading us to actively seek excitement, even when the excitement ruins our lives in the long-term.

We all know friends or relatives who got bored with their lives and went out to seek some excitement – excitement that escalated into chaos, into pain, into ruin.

And all the time, they were ruining their lives, they were also telling everyone who cared to listen –

“all I want is peace of mind. Some quiet.”

How could you achieve peace of mind if you add unnecessary complications to your life?

Some very clever people say that what we are doing is self-sabotage. Behavior is defined as self-sabotaging when it starts to create problems in our lives and it interferes with long-standing goals.Some of the most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, un-protected meaningless sex with people we don’t care about, comfort eating, and other forms of self-injury. Many of these acts may seem helpful in the moment, because they provide temporary relief. However, these acts eventually undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly and over a long period of time.

Unfortunately, we aren’t always aware of our own self-sabotage, or the damage it is causing, because the effects of our behavior may not show up immediately. We all know how alcohol and drugs can ruin a whole family over time, although drinking can be such fun in the beginning – before we start taking every cent left in our pockets to the bar. Even worse, connecting a behavior to it’s self-defeating consequences is no guarantee that a person will stop repeating the behavior.

To create and maintain wealth, one needs a lot of peace-of-mind, and time. A chaotic life will suddenly and destructively break ties with people, situations, organizations and thoughts that are settled and reaching into goals

That being said, how do you answer the questions below?

  1. What do you do to create a harmonious state or to maintain your peace of mind?
  2. What do you need in order to feel harmonious?
  3. What disturbs your peace of mind?
  4. What kind of people do you need around you for you to be at peace?
  5. If you find harmony and peace, do you really enjoy it or do you long for some excitement?
  6. Can you have harmony, peace of mind and excitement in the same life?
  7. What kind of excitement do you need, that you cannot get from a harmonious, peaceful life?

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